How to Teach Kids About Feelings
Kids are emotional little humans.
One minute, they’re over the moon because you cut their sandwich into triangles; the next, they’re inconsolable because… you cut their sandwich into triangles.
Welcome to parenting.
The truth is, these ups and downs are completely normal.
But here’s the catch: if we want our kids to grow into emotionally healthy, functional adults who can survive workplace meetings and group projects without throwing staplers, we need to teach them how feelings work—and how to deal with them.
Step One: Be the Role Model (Yes, Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)
You know how your kid copies everything you do? (Looking at you, “Why did you just say that to the cat?”) Well, the same goes for emotions. If you want them to be open about their feelings, you have to be open about yours.
It doesn’t mean oversharing every single frustration (“My boss drives me insane, and here’s why…”). But it does mean narrating your feelings in a way they can understand. For example:
“I’m feeling a little stressed, so I’m going to take a short walk to feel better.”
Boom. You’ve just shown them that emotions are normal, and so is doing something healthy to handle them.
Step Two: Use Words That Won’t Start World War III
When you’re knee-deep in Legos and your kid is ignoring you for the fifth time, it’s tempting to blurt out:
“You’re making me mad!”
But here’s a pro-parenting tip: switch it to “I” statements. Try:
“I feel frustrated when you don’t listen.”
It sounds less like an attack and more like an observation—and it teaches them to express their own feelings without starting a battle.
Step Three: Your Tone Is a Teaching Tool
Kids don’t just hear your words—they hear how you say them. If you’re yelling “I’m not angry!” in a tone that could peel paint, they’ll believe the tone, not the words.
Stay calm (or at least convincingly fake it). By keeping your voice steady, you’re modeling emotional regulation—showing them it’s possible to express big feelings without slamming doors or raising voices.
Step Four: Help Them Name the Feeling (Because “Mad” Isn’t Enough)
Toddlers and preschoolers are still building their emotional vocabulary. They might know “happy” and “sad,” but not “disappointed” or “frustrated.”
When they’re upset, try helping them label the feeling:
“It looks like you’re feeling disappointed because playtime is over.”
This not only validates what they’re feeling, but also teaches them words they can use instead of melting into a puddle on the floor.
Step Five: Make Feelings Welcome at Home
Let’s be honest: some emotions are more fun to deal with than others. But your home should be a place where all feelings are allowed to exist—yes, even the cranky, grumpy, overtired ones.
When kids know they can safely talk about their emotions without getting shut down, they’re more likely to actually talk about them. That’s how you build trust and keep communication open.
Step Six: Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
When your child expresses their feelings in a healthy way—whether it’s telling you they’re proud of themselves for finishing a puzzle, or calmly explaining they’re upset instead of hurling a shoe—acknowledge it.
“I’m glad you told me you were frustrated. That’s a great way to help me understand how to help you.”
This reinforces that sharing emotions is a strength, not a weakness.
The Bottom Line
Teaching kids about feelings isn’t about creating perfectly zen little humans who never get upset. It’s about giving them the tools to recognize, express, and manage those emotions—skills they’ll carry into friendships, school, work, and yes, even those dreaded group projects.
Start small. Talk about emotions openly. Model what you want to see. And remember: your goal isn’t to stop the emotional rollercoaster—it’s to help your child learn how to buckle up and ride it safely.
